Hasta Luego

I wish I could savor every moment I had in my last weeks in Mexico. I wish I could put them in a glass jar and never forget them. I wish I could relive them over, and over because they truly were the best weeks I had during the year I spent there. I think it's because I knew everything was getting real, that everything was coming to an end, and that I needed to cherish every last moment I had with the kids. There were a lot of tears, most of them on my end, and a lot of reliving the memories we had all made together. I think one of the favorite moments that was brought up was "Katie, remember when you arrived and you couldn't speak any Spanish?!" Nope, I do not remember that at all (insert heavy sarcasm).

I was lucky in not missing the holidays too much while I was away for them. I mean don't get me wrong, because I always missed my family, but I think of lot of it had to do with the fact that there wasn't any snow and it was the same 75 degrees it had been all year that made it seem like it was not really Christmas. Whether it felt like it or not, an NPH Christmas will be one I will always treasure. On the 23rd we went down to our little kid home and spent two days there so that we could all celebrate together. We didn't do anything too special during the days other than be present among one another. 

On the 24th we celebrated Christmas Eve in a very different way than I ever have.. we had mass in the stable! Can you imagine?! When I first heard that my instant thought was "que asco!" ("how gross!"), but one of my girls explained to me, "Katie, Jesus was born in a stable, so why wouldn't we have mass in our stable." I was grateful for her helping me refocus on the meaning of it verses the location. So even though we had a few strong whiffs of the pigs, it was my favorite mass I have been to in my life. In total darkness of the night, with only the moon, and candles alongside the aisles as light, I remember looking up at the stars and feeling so present that I didn't even care that I had a constant stream of tears flowing down my face. After mass, I saw the biggest firework display I have ever seen in my life, ate dinner with the kids, and then we returned to Cuernavaca and continued the night with a huge bonfire, a dance, and ponche and tamales (a traditional Mexican Christmas drink and meal). Everything about that night was absolutely perfect: the laughs, conversations, stories, silence, burning our hands trying to roast marshmallows. It was incredible and it is something I truly hope I never forgot. The next day was a time for relaxation and rest, so it was a great time for me to be able to Skype with my family and continue spending time with the kids. 

The rest of the end of 2016 is currently a blur, mainly because I had so many conversations, continued building relationships, and saying goodbye. I was constantly telling the kids on my last day with tears running down my face "It's not goodbye, it's hasta luego." The tears would keep flowing as they told me I was family, that I always have a home to return to, how much much they loved me and would miss me, and ways I affected their lives, and would give me a hug and a kiss. 

I wish I could have let every single one of them know how much they changed my life. How much they changed my outlook on brokenness and healing. How much they changed how I love and receive love. I loved them like I believe I would love my own children-- they made me happy, mad (though not too often), proud when they got 8, 9, or 10 on their grades, scared when I saw them wipe out playing a sport or doing a stunt that wasn't so safe, and overjoyed whenever we had a deep conversation. I couldn't imagine welcoming 2017 with anyone but them. We laughed, we danced, we hugged, and wished that we would have a prosperous year. 

I know that it won't exactly be the same when I go back, but I have only been gone for two weeks and I can't wait to return. I can't wait to receive 40+ hugs in one day, speak Spanish constantly, hear about what is going on in their lives, but most of all I can't wait to be present with them again. I am grateful for technology, shoutout to Facebook and Whatsapp, so I can keep in touch with them in between my vacations down south. But most of all, I am grateful for them.

Well, that is all folks. Thanks for following my blog for the past year. More than anything, thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout the year, encouraged me when I was in tears, and who listened to all my stories even though they don't personally know the kids, I couldn't have done it without you. I hope that it was able to provide a little more in depth of a look into the NPH volunteer life, but even more so I hope it will be assistance for any future volunteers. If you are thinking about volunteering with NPH Mexico in Cuernavaca, it won't be perfect nor smooth sailing, but do it. Your life will be changed in countless ways. Thank you God and thank you NPH.

Hasta luego y bendiciones,
Katie

What I Found in an Orphanage

A little over a year ago, when I was telling people about what my next year was going to look like, the response after a few times was pretty predictable: "what a beautiful thing you are doing"; "that is going to benefit your future so much"; "I always wished I did something abroad when I was your age." I wasn't going down there for any of those reasons. I went down there because I heard a call from God and I listened to it.

When I arrived to Casa Buen Señor in Santa María, Cuernavaca, it was not what I expected it to be, quite frankly. I expected to find sadness, brokenness, and those who needed repairing. I mean, isn't that what you imagine what you think of an orphanage? We've all seen the heartbreaking commercials from the 90s: donate now and your money will go to an orphan in need. 

Instead of sadness, I found joy.  
"Oh, I could never do that, it would be so sad," was another very common response I heard when preparing to come down to Mexico, and honestly, I figured there would be a lot of sadness as well. I remember one day when I was telling my grandma a story of one of the kids, she said "they seem really happy," and that is when I was reminded of all the people who said how sad my next year was going to be. The kids, in general, are very happy teenagers; of course not every single one of them is and not all are consistently happy. They haven't allowed their past to define them, instead they are moving or have moved forward and found joy. A day or night at the home is one that I would find anywhere else working with teenagers: laughter, games, playful teasing, and casually hanging out. 

Instead of brokenness, I found hope. 
These kids have been through a lot, some more than others. I give them credit, it's not easy to go through what they have, but to come out on top, with good attitudes, and smiling is even more impressive. I found courage that even when life is not easy you have to keep on going, you have to never give up. This year was uncomfortable. It was hard to be away from family for a year, it was hard to lose my grandpa at the beginning of my time there, and it was not fun being submersed in a place where I didn't know the language. But I learned that being in an uncomfortable season of life isn't always bad. It's messy, it keeps you on your toes, and it has you questioning at times. But it is when we are uncomfortable that we learn so many lessons; lessons of trust, timing, how to be content but not complacent, and where our hope is found. 

Instead of those that needing repairing, I found love. 
One of my favorite things that my teenagers have taught me about is love. A truly amazing thing that I saw nearly every day is sharing. These teenagers don't have a lot, so when I first saw how much they loved to share I was shocked. For example, if they have two cookies and six people are in the room, they will split it so that everyone gets a piece. As I write this I am wearing a tshirt that two of the kids bought for me with their Christmas money that was a donation from a foundation in the States. I said in passing while shopping one day that I really liked it, but that I didn't have money on me that day to buy it, and they gave it to me as a going away present in addition to four beautifully hand made flowers. I was floored, they only receive money twice a year and they chose to spend some of it on me. While they didn't always show love perfectly, they showed it like we all do. We don't love one another 100% of the time, but we find our way to say sorry, to ask for forgiveness, and to learn to trust that individual again. 

But, most importantly, what I found in an orphanage is what I hope that everyone finds one day. I hope it fills you and gives you hope even in the darkest of times... 

What I found in an orphanage is God. 

What I Learned in Cuba

Recently I was incredibly blessed to live a trip that I have dreamed for a really long time and it was my mom's dream for longer than I have been alive. Since Americans still are not allowed to go to Cuba for tourism, we chose one of twelve ways to go called "people to people." Basically you have to interact with people and learn about the culture for eight hours a day. It was not always easy, but it allowed us to learn so much about the culture, the way of life in Cuba, and the government. So, here are the top three things I learned while in Cuba. 

1. Life is not meant to be lived looking at your phone. One of my favorite parts about the week was being phone free. Yes, there were a lot of people checking their phones at internet parks, but they just know how to live life without a screen in their face. So many of the streets we would walk down people would be standing in the doorway, people watching, or having an intimate, casual, or funny conversation with their neighbors and family. They were also very interested in interacting with tourists. So many of the kids we saw were running around together outside, literally playing "kick the can," and lying kites. When I compare this to Mexico or back home in the States, it's drastically different because so much of the population cannot have a conversation without checking their phone during family or friend time as least one person is sitting around with the phone sitting on their lap or table. One of my favorite evenings was simple, but we were all just sitting around the table at our AirBnB and we had a casual conversation for a few hours, without any phones. 

2. Family is the most important thing in life. Whenever we asked people if they want to immigrate or move across the country to find better work, all but one said no because family is so crucial to the Cuban culture. I found it so warming to hear how well they take care of their family. One man told us that after his father retired he moved in with his dad to help because his father couldn't afford to live on the government social security. He said it was like a role reversal- his dad took care of him growing up, now he takes care of his dad growing up. Another man told us he gave up his job of working for the government where he was able to travel the world (which is really rare for a Cuban to be able to travel out of the country) to take care of his sick father and the farm. We were told that young people weren't moving around the country, like many other you people in different countries around the world, they stuck around with their family. Finally, parents worked hard their entire lives so that they could provide for their children well into adulthood. Family is crucial. 

3. You don't have to be rich in money to be rich in life. I don't know why Cuba isn't ranked as one of the happiest countries in the world, but all the people we talked to mentioned how poor the people were, but they were all so happy! I don't know what their secret is, but I want to be let in on it. Maybe it's because they are so trusting (it's an incredibly safe country, because  they are very family oriented, or because they are actually interacting with each other. All I can say is after spending a week with them, their happiness rubbed off on me. 

I only spent a week in Cuba, but I feel like I came back with so much knowledge. I have never had a trip like that, where it was so focused on learned the culture and interacting with the people. While the trip, like any other trip, had a few problems, but it was all worth it to live a trip like we did.  

First photo on the left: chess in the park in Trinidad
Second photo on the right: mojitos in La Habana 
Third photo: La Habana
Fourth photo on left: View of the mountains in Trinidad from the Ex-Convent of St. Francis of Assisi (Ex-Convento de San Francisco de Asís)
Fifth photo on the right: El Malecón- a famous walk way in La Habana 
Sixth photo on the left: The farmer in Viñales who makes Puros (Cuban Cigars) teaching us how he makes them
Seventh photo on the right: coffee with a view in La Habana 
Eighth photo on the left: teaching a little girl in Kindergarten in Trinidad how to count to ten in English
Ninth photo on the right: all of us in an American classic car on our way to Bahía de Cochinos (Bay of Pigs) 
Tenth photo: Snorkling in the Bay of Pigs- photo credit: Olga Perez
Eleventh photo: La Habana skyline- photo credit: Olga Perez 

Casi Me Voy

I can't believe it's December already. Where has this year gone? Thirty two days from now I will be on a plane to my next adventure. This past year has not been perfect, but I wouldn't change anything, even the bad, because it helped me grow and it opened my eyes to so much more than I expected on my flight down here 11 months and 12 days ago. A lot of people have been asking how I am feeling about leaving, what's next, and what I will miss and not miss. So here it is:

How am I feeling? I feel like am in limbo. I am so excited to go home to my community of 20,007 people; to be able to drive only a little bit to see my friends and family verses figuring out times we can Skype and playing phone tag; to live where there are seasons, it may sound weird to those who want to live in perfect 75-80 degree weather all year round, but I miss the seasons changing. But on the flip side, I am so heartbroken to leave the 200 kids that I have fallen in love with, who brighten even the worst of days, and my friends who have become family, who have been my light even in the darkest of times. 

What's after NPH? Well, immediately after I will be traveling for three weeks and meeting up with different friends everywhere I go. I will be spending two weeks in Costa Rica, hoping to process what I have learned from this year. After I will be going to see my dad in Dallas for a day during a long layover. Then spending a few days in DC with my lovely sister and brother-in-law whom I have not seen in almost a year. Finally, I will be spending a long weekend in NYC with two of my best friends. After the traveling, well, Lord only knows what is next for me. Seriously, any prayers for my job hunt would be appreciated. 

What I will miss and what I won't miss: 

What I won't miss:

1. Waking up and not knowing if I will have water. I realized how blessed I am in the States to wake up and not worry about being able to shower right away, or make my morning Joe (which I rely on way too much). It doesn't happen too often, luckily.

2. Being catcalled, almost every time I leave my home. It's also pretty frustrating because many of the men doing it think that it's flattering and that women enjoy it. Fun fact, we don't.

3. Taking the bus. Yes, it's economical, but I miss Walter, my little Kia Spectra. I like doing things on my own time, so having to rely on the bus schedule is not ideal.

4. Being constantly dirty. I don't know what it is, but even if I don't sit down outside on a bench I somehow have a dirt spot on my pants, and my nails consistently have dirt in them.

5. Being taken advantage of (price wise) because people assume since I am doing a year of service that I must be able to afford not being paid for a year. Fun fact, I am not wealthy despite being from the States.

6. As much as I love learning Spanish and as far as I have come, I still have a long ways to go, so I will not miss not being understood or not understanding. 

What I will miss:

1. I can't even begin to describe how much I will miss my teenagers. They have been my rock throughout this year. It will be weird not to walk up to my apartment after work and gleaming from receiving 40-80 hugs good night and hearing "que descanses, te quiero," (rest well, I love you) more times than I can count. They are my community, my people, and when I leave, I think I will be a little lost.

2. Traveling Mexico (but not by bus). It truly is a beautiful country with so much more culture than I ever imagined to find here. I wish that people who go to a resort in Cancun every year would trade a week of beaching and go to the mountains, hike a volcano, see the butterflies that travel to Mexico every year, or simply live like a local. 

3. Walking to many of the places I go. In MN I live far from anything really, so I rely on my car to go everywhere. I will also miss walking less than a minute and a half to work. 

4.  The tacos. Oh Lord, I will miss the tacos. And just the food in general, not so much the rice and beans, but the sopes, chilaquiles, tortas, the way better fruit and avocados than those that are in the States, and all the spicy salsas they have where ever you go to eat. 

5. My quiet mornings. I have been very accustomed to waking up, reading my bible/doing my bible study, getting ready slowly, and drinking many cups of coffee (I truly am an addict). Since I don't know what exactly I will be returning to when I go home, I don't know how my mornings will look like.

6. Mexican Netflix, it's 100% better than USA Netflix. Lately I have been binging on Full House, because why not relive my childhood a little?

7. The slow(ish) paced life. While it is faster than I thought it would be, it's so much more relaxed than the United States. 

8. Spanish. Even though I stated above that I won't miss parts of it, I will miss constantly learning new words, expressions, groserias, and grammar. I am hoping to find someone that I can talk with in Spanish when I go back. I am also praying that my Spanish that I have worked so hard to learn will not slip too much when I return. 

9. The view. Oh my goodness, I can't begin to describe how much I will miss my view. It is million dollar view that I get for free. I have mountains, the city lights at night, and an active volcano, all from my windows or even better, the roof. When I go home I will be returning to the view of a highway, so it'll be quite the drastic change. 

10. Serving others every single day. I am called to a life of service, so not knowing what is next and how I will be serving others is a little scary for me.

There is probably a lot more, but those are the biggest things that I will and will not miss about Mexico and NPH. Here's to the last 32 days of messing up on Spanish and falling in love even more with my kiddos. 

Bien y paz,

Katie 

The Little Things

Lately I have been reflecting on the fact that I have been in Mexico for 10 months. I can't believe it. Where has the time gone?! I have had a lot of mixed emotions about leaving in a little over two months. I am excited to return home to my family, my friends, and driving my car again. I am excited to know exactly how to eat healthy, as I have yet to figure out how to eat healthy down here. My bank account will be excited to be receiving a pay check again. But it's hard for me to imagine not seeing the 150 kids that I have grown to love, that I receive a million hugs a day from, who I have wonderful conversations with, the kids I have become comfortable with. It'll be weird to only be speaking English again, though I am excited to be able to fully express myself when I need to and understand every word of a conversation. I will miss traveling Mexico-- at first it was little hard, but it became a lot easier once I learned the language and bussing system. But part of my reflections has been reflecting on the little things that make being here all worth it: 

• When the teenagers invite me to go out with them and explore downtown, go to the little convenience store down the street, or just walk around outside of the home.
• When one of the teenagers asks me to help them with their homework and after explaining it, they then understand it. 
• When someone comes up to me and asks to play frisbee because it's been too long since we have bonded over throwing a disk around. 
• When I sit in a tree with one of the girls and we reflect on the value of being rich, not rich with money but rich in life moments and experiences.
• When I go away for a long weekend and when a teenager sees me they run up, hug me, and tells me how much they missed me.
• When I sit with a teenager and they open up about things they have been struggling with lately and I find out how exactly I can serve them.
• When I introduce a few of my friends who came to visit and I can tell how genuinely excited the teenager is to meet them.
• When I get to share the Gospel with a teenager and we have a good conversation about God. 
• When they thank me for spending time with them and dedicating a year to serve them.
• And finally, just sitting in the living room with them and watching TV. 

During my reflections I have come to learn that while the big events, such as Easter, Independence Day, and soon Day of the Dead and Christmas are all really important, the more important moments ones are the day to day experiences and lessons I get to share with my kids and I have become increasingly more and more grateful for these moments and them. Here is to the last 2 months I get to spend with them. 

About 85% of the teenagers after our Independence Day competition

Eres Importante para Mi

After coming back from my vacation to the United States I have been feeling a wide range of emotions, mainly homesickness and shock that I have less than four months here. Seriously, where has the time gone?! I don't think I have ever experienced as many emotions as I have in my eight months of being in Mexico, which is weird because I am not really an overly emotional person. My trip home was so refreshing. I went to a baseball game, I saw my favorite place in the world (Northfield), I caught up with my friends, but most importantly I saw my family. For me being away from my family has been the hardest part of this journey, so it was perfect to be able to see them and catch up. It felt as though no time had passed by.

As I mentioned in the last post about 60 new kids have moved to Cuernavaca from Miacatlan. To be honest, I was quite nervous for them to arrive. I had become very comfortable and close to most of our teenagers who were leaving to be Year of Service in Miacatlan. Side note, I can't remember if I have ever mentioned what a Year of Service is, but it is where the kids give back to the home for two years and help take care of the kids or other needs of the house, after their years of service they go to University for free. I was nervous for many reasons: that they wouldn't like me, that they would judge me for not speaking Spanish well, that they wouldn't care to get to know me, and many more things. I think it was just the anxiety of the unknown. But good thing that anxieties are usually wrong, because the new kids are wonderful. I think I forgot that they had also been in the Miacatlan home and therefore were used to volunteers who don't speak Spanish well and overall the children really enjoy the volunteer's presence. 

The other day when I was making bracelets with one the new girls who I have been growing close to, I asked her a question that I have always been wondering but always too afraid to ask. I asked her how the kids overall feel about the volunteers coming and leaving every six months. I remember this was similar to one of my questions that I asked during my interview. We are working with a vulnerable population of children that have been abandoned or are orphans and may have grown up in unstable and unsafe conditions, so how do they handle the change of volunteers only being physically present for a year of their lives? The girl had the sweetest response. She said she felt like she could represent most of the kids by saying that they need us, that yes we come and go every six months after doing a year of service but that we provide a far greater service than we can imagine. She said that there are volunteers who come and they don't hear from them after they leave. But they value ones that they stay in contact with and who continue to support them even when we can't be physically present. She ended her answer with "me caes bien, Katie y eres importante para mi." Translation: "I like you, Katie and you are important to me." What a reaffirmation, am I right?

There have been many moments throughout these eight months where I have wondered what the heck I am doing here. Every bad day in the office, every moment struggling with a new language and culture, and every call home crying with frustrations has had me questioning if coming to Mexico was the right choice. However, hearing this girl say I have made a difference in her life; getting a letter from one of the kids; having deep and profound conversations with them or ending up in tears because we are laughing so hard has been worth it; these beautiful teenagers have shown me that I have made the right choice, regardless of the difficulties that I have endured because of it. 

I love my kids and every experience I have had with them. A lot of the times I think they are serving me more than I am serving them. Even though this has been the hardest and most life changing thing I have experienced in my 24 years, I wouldn't trade them or this for anything.

PS for more of a detailed insight of what my daily life is like here at Casa Buen Señor you can check out the article a that was recently posted on the NPH International website.

https://www.nph.org/ws/page.php?path=volunteers/articles/mexico/katie_voltestimonial.php

Graduation, a volcano and many things in-between.

Hello friends! It's been quite some time since I have written, mainly because I have had a combination of business and laziness. A lot has been going on in the home that it's hard to recall little details of the days, but here are a few of the events that have been happening in the home and in my life. 

• A while back my sister and a friend from college came down to visit. It was wonderful to show them around Mexico, but the coolest part of them visiting was showing them the home and introducing them to my kids. A lot of the kids were very excited to meet my friend and sister! Days leading up to it a few of them were counting down with me. "Katie, only two more days, are you excited?!" It was really nice to just show them what my daily life is like here, where I shop, and introduce them to my favorite part of living in Mexico-the tiangues (open air markets).  We also were able to travel to Cholula/Puebla, Mexico City and Teotihuacan,where they have about 10 Aztec Pyramids including one of the world's largest. 

• Our seniors had business presentations that were amazing. They had to come up with a business plan, do marketing research, create the project, and try to make a profit. Some of the tourism kids made food, another group made homemade candies and caramel sauce (that I wish I could have for the rest of my life), another made a house that runs on solar power, and another group made websites and business cards for all of the products. It was really impressive! 

• My roommate, a fellow volunteer, my two bosses and I hiked Volcan La Malinche. It's a dormant volcano in Tlaxcala, Mexico, whose summit reaches 15,000 ft! It was the most challenging hike and probably work out of my life, especially the hike from the base of the summit to the summit. At points we had to be using our hands to prevent us from falling backwards because of the incline. But boy, once we reached the top it was all worth it! We were able to sit in the clouds and see three of Mexico's other volcanoes. The whole thing about 8 hours to climb up and back down and we spent about an hour at the top. I got a little altitude sick, not as much as I thought I would be-- nothing that a nap at the summit of a volcano couldn't fix. During our trip we also stopped in a cute city along the way from Cuernavaca named Atlixco in the state of Puebla. It had colorful buildings, a beautiful city center and beautiful churches and markets. This was one of my favorite trips and moments in Mexico so far. 

• I went to Mexico City with our seniors a week before their graduation to buy their graduation clothes. It was awesome to be a part of. We bought a lot of dresses, shoes, make-up, suits and whatever else they needed to make their special day complete. The day ended perfectly with getting tacos and cokes and sitting around in our family room at the home and telling everyone what they got.

•  The most exciting part of the summer so far is that our seniors graduated from high hchool! It was a day filled with so much pride and love. One of the girls asked me to be her Madrina (Godmother) for her ceremony. Being a godparent for a special event is a Mexican tradition, such as baptism, confirmation, quinceañera, graduation, etc. It was a huge honor to be asked! We had mass, the ceremony were one of our kids from was valedictorian and gave a speech, and then had a fancy dinner and dance at night. Two days after graduation they all moved to Miacatlan (the little kid home) to start their two years of service to give back to the home. The new kids that graduated from junior high school in our home in Miacatlan moved into our home as well the same day as the recently graduated moved. It's weird to see new faces around the home but I am very excited to get to know 60-some new kids!

• Finally, we recently welcomed the new generation of volunteers and the old generation left. I can't believe that I have been here for six months and that the new volunteers are already here! My two roommates left and I gained a new roommate. I am very excited to continue to build community with the eight new volunteers! 

That is all the excitement that has happened in the house and in my life lately! I am going home for a little over a week in a few days. I am so, so excited to see my family, friends, go to a baseball game, eat a good Juicy Lucy and speak English 24/7. Then a few weeks after I return to Mexico my best friend is coming to visit! I have a lot to look forward to in the last six months in Mexico. 

Till next time folks. 

-Katie